Preparing and Giving a Wedding Speech can be a very stressful event. Wedding Toasts are not meant to be stressful, but a time to offer a tribute.
On the list of the top feared things to experience, speaking in front of others ranks higher than death. The way to take the fear out of speaking at a reception, whether it is for a toast or wedding vows, is to prepare.
Many use this time to make kind remarks about the Bride and groom. Others will use it as a time to roast or poke fun of them. I will suggest you take the high road, and will give you some tips and suggestions that will help you prepare your remarks that will be well received by both the Bridal party and their guests.
The key to a good wedding speech is to have four simple elements
Element One-Introduction. Introduce yourself. Rarely in my 14 plus years of working in the Bridal Industry have I been to an wedding where the Best Man, father of the Bride or other speaker knew everyone there. Mention your name and your relation to the Bride and Groom. For example; “Good Evening everyone. My Name is John Smith. I am the Best man and have known (Groom’s name) for 15 years since we went to high school together. John has asked me to give a Wedding Toast”
Element Two-Thanks. It is always in good taste to thank the Bride and Groom for inviting you there that night, to thank the major contributor to the festivities (note-do not assume that this person is the Father of the Bride. While this is a traditional role, it may be the Bride and Groom, or her mother, or someone else. Make sure you know before you speak). It is also may or may not be appropriate to thank the facility or the caterer. It is not appropriate to make light of the facility or someone who did not contribute to the event in your wedding speech.
A good Example of thanking would be: “I would like to thank John and Tiffany for having us all here today. I know they went through a lot of hard work in planning the details for the night and I am honored to be here and to give them a wedding toast. I would also like to thank (fill in the name of the major contributor if it is in addition to the Bride and Groom) for putting on this great party. This has been a great night and (other person’s name) has made it possible”.
Element Three-the Bride and Groom. This is where you tell a cute anecdote about the Bride and groom, tell a story about how they met, or maybe about when you first knew they were meant to be together. Rule of Thumb-if you can’t say something nice, SHUT UP! This is their day and it is about them, not you. Example; “I remember when I first met Tiffany. The way she looked into John’s eyes I knew there was something special there.” This can be sappy, simple or fun. Keep it positive. Not everyone has a perfect story, but remember that you don’t have to make something up in order to have a great wedding toast.
Element four-The Toast. This is the part where you wish them happiness and health, yada yada. Make this genuine and sincere. DO NOT use this as a place to get in a dig or two (i.e. “May they have a more spiritual life and concern themselves with doing good things as opposed to having things”-this was actually in a wedding I was involved in once!). At the end simply say, “To John and Tiffany with much love” and raise your glass.
*Note: Be sure before you start to have a glass of something to toast with. Your guests will not know if you have a cocktail, champagne, water or otherwise, nor will they care. Bring something to toast with before going up to give your wedding speech.
Be careful in trying out new jokes or trying to be funny off the cuff. If you have not used this before, it may go over like a fart in church (see the toasting scene in “The Wedding Crashers” when she tries to be cute instead of speaking from the heart)
The typical wedding speech is usually between 1 to 2 minutes. Anything more than 2 minutes is excessive. It is okay if you get emotional when giving a wedding toast. This often happens as this is a very emotional day that has been going on for a quite some time, so your body is worn out and it is a very special occasion. If you have been asked to give a wedding speech, it is because you are special to the Bridal couple, so it is okay to shed a few tears.
